


Mirandy the Peruvian Musical--prequel

by punky_96



Category: Indiana Jones Series, The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: AU use of elements from Indiana Jones, Archaeologist Priestly, Canoe Sex, Crack, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 10:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13188489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Re-post from LJ.  This is the prequel to nowhere.  It meant to go with a longer story and I still love the idea of a Miranda Indiana Jones, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not writing it any time soon.I had a request for MirAndy + canoe sex and I must have been watching Indiana Jones...Dr. Priestly (famous archaeologist) takes her new wife with her on a quest to Peru.





	Mirandy the Peruvian Musical--prequel

**Title** : Mirandy the Peruvian Musical—prequel  
**Author** : punky_96  
**Pairing** : Andy/Miranda, Emily, Nigel  
**Rating** : R  
**Words** : 3635  
**Summary** : Dr. Priestly (famous archaeologist) takes her new wife with her on a quest to Peru.  
**Disclaimer** : standard disclaimer on my LJ/DW page

  
  
**A/N** : The Yanamuru are a FAKE people that have fallen victim to believing in a false god who has turned them against explorers such as our beloved Archaeologist Dr. Priestly and her team.

 

  
__****  
Mirandy Peruvian Musical—prequel  
  
     Dr. Priestly had become enamored of the temples of the Yanamuru. Andy’s honeymoon had become a quest into the deepest, darkest jungles of Peru. Andy rolled her eyes, ‘Goodbye honeymoon.’ She thought, ‘Dr. Priestly wants to go to deepest, dorkiest Peru.’ When Miranda wasn’t looking Andy cut a yellow hat out of a picture of Paddington Bear and taped it over her white hair in a photograph. She followed this up with the blue pea coat and a tag that said, ‘Look after this archaeologist.’ Andy slipped it into a card and mailed it home for their eventual return. She called her parents and let them know that they were taking a pleasure cruise up the Amazon. Her parents didn’t question the positive spin that Andy put on it and they were off and paddling. She felt bad for lying to them, but they had a hard enough time accepting her relationship with the archaeology professor and she didn’t want to make it harder for them. They were cruising up the Amazon—so it was only partially a lie.  
  
     The trip was potentially dangerous but Andy felt confident in her shooting skills having learned to out shoot her brother by age 12. Soda cans didn’t stand a chance against her Beretta at fifty feet. Her individual training did not compare to Miranda’s experience on her various quests. They also weren’t alone. Emily Charlton was the Master of Whips and Paddles which sounded odd until Andy saw a demonstration of the flying whip and heard the sing of it in the air. Nigel Kipling’s place in the group involved strategy, and precision over distance—sniper rifles, explosives, and elaborate plans of trails, caves, and GPS points. Andy wasn’t sure what his hand to hand fighting skills were like, but she knew he would be always looking for routes to and from their area for safety. All in all it wasn’t a pleasure cruise on the Grand Canal in Las Vegas and the crocs in the water were not some kind of Hollywood magic, but she was on an amazing adventure with her new wife and couldn’t really complain—yet.   
  
     Three days into their adventure Miranda pulled Andy away from the fire toward the river beach where the canoes were. Emily and Nigel had the good sense not to notice this and carried on with their singing and story telling. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Miranda said as she wrapped her arms around Andy’s neck and kissed her. The moonlight barely peeked through the jungle canopy forming a bubble of darkness around them. Andy felt shivers up and down her spine as she held Miranda back and opened her mouth to the kiss. Hands roamed and skin became exposed as they licked into each other’s mouths and moaned into the contact. It had been three days and they were hungry for each other.  
  
     “I want more.” Andy whispered when they broke the kiss.  
  
     “Darling.” Miranda said as she looked around them. “There, the canoe.” Andy turned until she saw the canoe resting among the others on the shore. It was beached and waiting for them. Andy turned and pulled Miranda by the hand to follow her. They knelt down in the canoe kissing and tugging at each other’s clothes until they were able to touch skin to skin. They didn’t dare take their clothes off completely there in the dark night of the jungle but it was enough to take the edge off.  
  
     Andy held Miranda’s face and looked into her eyes. The love they had discovered after Andy’s second interview of her was still as radiant now as it was two years before. Their eyes fluttered shut as their lips closed in for another kiss. Andy leaned into the kiss as Miranda yielded until she was resting against the wooden seat of the canoe. Andy sighed and urged Miranda up onto the seat. Kneeling between Miranda’s legs, Andy slowly kissed her mouth before moving along her jaw line, sucking and licking down her neck, before taking one nipple in her mouth and the other in the palm of her hand. Miranda’s legs closed against the sides of Andy’s body as she came alive under her tongue’s tantalizing attentions. Miranda’s hands alternately pushed and pulled against Andy’s shoulder’s wanting and not wanting each caress.  
  
     Kissing Miranda fully on the mouth once more Andy cupped both breasts in her palms. Then she pulled back and reveled for a moment in the knowledge that she was kneeling before the most beautiful woman. Miranda’s hips had unconsciously started rotating and Andy could smell her lover’s desire. Pulling out of the kiss, Andy’s hands were firm against Miranda’s shoulders. Her mouth kissed down Miranda’s body as she pushed her to lie back against the bow of the canoe. Miranda reached up to hold onto the end of the canoe as Andy kissed a gentle hello against the top of each thigh. She inched back on her knees and pulled Miranda’s pants the rest of the way down to her ankles. Andy bit her lip looking up at the moonlight drenched figure of Miranda’s shirt and bra hanging open and her body laying stretched and smooth before her. Her eyes did not linger long but the vision was clear in her mind as she closed her eyes, leaned forward and lapped up the taste that was Miranda’s sex.  
  
     Andy licked around Miranda’s sex tasting her folds, teasing her until her face became covered with desire. She knew that she was provoking Miranda, but could not help herself. It was always the same: Andy had to savor each lick, suck, and bite that she could get of Miranda. There was never a quick ‘how many licks does it take to make you tick.’ There were other ways of doing that, but this feast that was only for her was to be treasured and savored like one of Miranda’s archaeological finds. Having had her fill Andy slowly slipped in one finger, then another and another until Miranda’s hips were arching up off the canoe to meet her thrusts. If she was moaning or chanting her name Andy did not know for Miranda’s legs had firmly pressed against her head blocking out all sounds.  
  
     When Miranda’s sex clenched around her fingers, her mouth tasted a fresh gush of desire and Miranda’s hands were pulling at her hair—then Andy knew Miranda had come undone. She had just pulled her pants up but not buttoned them when a pack was thrown into the canoe and it was being pushed. A few grunts and splashes and Miranda and Andy found themselves adrift with a wet kidnapper and rucksack. Andy had turned and was about to protest when Miranda’s hand slid over her mouth silencing her and pulling her back against her. “Don’t move.” She whispered against her lover’s ear. When Andy at long last nodded Miranda took her hand off. Their kidnapper was paddling as if their life depended on it. Andy was certain that one way or another their life did depend on it. Andy felt movement behind her and heard a tell-tale zip as Miranda did her pants back up. Andy came to her senses at that and fastened her bra and shirt buttons as well. They were paddling fast away from camp, but there did not seem to be the sounds of pursuit behind them. Andy did not know if that was a good or bad sign.  
  
     A wider patch of moonlight hit them as the river opened up and Andy spotted Emily’s whip tied to the rucksack. She pointed and Miranda nodded against her ear. They tried to gesture some kind of plan, but it was no use. They were in a canoe under the light of the moon with piranhas, crocodiles, and enemy Yanamuru on the shores. They would have to wait for an escape plan to present itself. After many long minutes the paddler turned out of breath and looked at them in the moonlight. Andy gasped and Miranda lowered her head against Andy’s shoulder—their kidnapper was Emily.  
  
     “Neither of you could pick up a paddle?” Emily sighed pushing her bedraggled wet hair out of her face.  
  
     Miranda and Andy looked at each other in bewildered silence. They turned to look at Emily.  
  
     Met with questioning stares Emily’s frustration deepened. “Paddle.” She said as she held one up and huffed again pressing against her wet clothes to assess damage.  
  
     Of all the dangers in the Amazon and surrounding the canoe Miranda’s low voice was still one of the deadliest. “I didn’t know we were going for a cruise, Emily.”  
  
     The whip master sucked in lungful of air ready to protest and realized she had better not. Emily hung her head, but her shoulders were shaking with rage. “The Yanamuru have Nigel. We barely escaped.” When she had herself in better control Emily raised her head again and met the thoughtful gaze of Miranda and the frightened one of Andy.  
  
     Miranda shifted behind Andy but did not let her hands drop from around her. “There are no sounds of pursuit.” Miranda paused as she took in how far they had gone down river. Turning her back on them Emily paddled in silence steering the canoe more than urging it on. “Were you going to camp 6?”  
  
     Emily half turned as she lifted her paddle out of the water. “Yes. I thought we could re-group in the morning. Send for help. There are some supplies stashed there.”  
  
     The river turned again and Emily focused forward once more. Andy turned to her lover, but her protest died on her lips as Miranda placed a gentle finger there. “We are safe for now, dearest. We will come up with a plan, don’t you worry.” Just then the canoe hit shore and all three of their attentions were focused on getting out quickly and establishing a safe camp for the night. It was hard to find everything they needed and set up in the dark, but luckily Emily’s pack had one flashlight.  
  
***  
  
     The next day Emily signaled for help and they were waiting. Miranda was pacing back and forth on the small patch of ground that called itself Camp 6. “This will never do.” She muttered. Facing Emily suddenly she asked, “What weapons were in your pack?”  
  
     Emily held up the whip, she searched the side pockets and pulled out a pistol and then reaching around the back of the pack she pulled and jockeyed until a long knife came out of the backing. “Just these, Dr. Priestly.” Emily answered.  
  
     Andy was horrified as she watched a smile grow on both of their dirt-smeared faces.  
  
     “The first time I went in search of the Chachapoyan, I had help from the local Yanomami people. They wanted their history to be known and discovered. They told me of an evil tribe that would stop at nothing to take anything I found. They feared that they would even kill me. The Yanomuru’s figure-head they said was a twisted man from beyond their plane. They said that he was part dendrobates ventrimaculatus or poison frog. When I came out of the cave of wonders with the small fertility statuette I came face to face with him. I recognized him as the former Dr. Ravitz from Princeton, but he was a shell of his former self. Having lived among the natives for so long he had changed. His frog appearance was the same as when I knew him before, but the tint of his skin had indeed become other-worldly. I barely made it to the sea plane where Nigel was waiting for me.”  
  
     Emily handed the knife and pistol to Miranda as she stood. Then she stalked to the edge of their clearing with her whip. Miranda stopped pacing and knelt in front of a dumbstruck Andy. An idea was just beginning to form in her head and Andy began to protest as she saw it as a full-blown plan in Miranda’s Amazonian blue eyes. “Dr. Ravitz that went missing six years ago?” Miranda nodded. Andy continued her questions. “What are you thinking of, Miranda?”  
  
     The silver haired archaeologist held out the pistol to Andy. “We have the advantage.” In the clearing, Emily let the whip sing in a circle around and around until she finally flicked her wrist and the ripple went down the leather until there was a crack against a pebble that went flying off toward the river. “They will not plan on attack, so they will not have defenses in place.” Andy looked horrified into her lover’s eyes and gripped the pistol tightly to her chest. This was certainly not on the ‘pleasure cruise itinerary’ that she had pretended to her mother about.  
  
     Andy scrambled to her feet. “But, but, but.”  
  
     Wrapping up the whip and looping it to her belt Emily turned to face Miranda. They put their heads together as they formed a plan. “I know the path to their sacrificial pyramids.”  
  
     The world was spinning around Andy and she felt light headed. As she began to fall both Emily and Miranda reached out an arm to catch her on either side. She was settled against the canoe while they continued in their whispers above her.  
  
     “If you’re going, I’m going.” Andy said firmly from her spot at their knees. Miranda’s eyes were gentle and loving as they searched hers. Emily’s while a similar shade of blue held no love as they looked her over. “You can’t leave me here and go rescue him. It wouldn’t make sense. Besides you smiled when you went over the weapons because you knew it was one for each of us. I can use that pistol better than either of you.” With that Andy was swept into the final stages of the plan.  
  
***  
  
     Andy could see everything from her spot half way up the second pyramid. She was to provide cover fire from her vantage point should anyone get too close to either Miranda or Emily. Then when they were safely away she was to make her way down the backside of the pyramid to the trail that led to camp 2. Emily and Miranda would escape with Nigel around the other side back to camp 1 where they would get back into their canoe and make way down stream to Andy. From that point on they would head down river out of Yanamuru territory. She didn’t like being separated from her lover, but she knew that it was better for her to provide cover fire from her vantage point than to go in with them. Nigel was tied to a pole and slung over a fire. He appeared to be just out of reach of the flames, but Andy imagined that it wasn’t comfortable. If she hadn’t been holding a pistol and clinging to the side of an ancient pyramid Andy would have thought that she was seeing some kind of hallucination that would soon enough turn into a dreamy cartoon world and she’d wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs on the stove. The dirt below her fingernails and the cut on her cheek told her that she was really here and Nigel was really there instead of in some twisted cartoon fantasy.  
  
     Emily and Miranda infiltrated the camp easily enough. They had been right to assume that there were no defenses to speak of put in place. They knocked the trellis holding Nigel over to the side but before they could cut him loose some of the natives followed by their leader called the alert. Emily and Miranda were engaged in hand combat at first. Andy’s first two shots took out two of the approaching natives and the leader shouted some commands and retreated. Emily was able to start her whip song and she held the others off while Andy shot at them. Miranda was able to cut Nigel loose from his pole and they grabbed a few things as they headed for the trail. A wolf whistle was all the signal Emily needed to let her whip crack one against the other and under Andy’s cover fire she too took to the trail. Hearing shouting from the far side of her own pyramid Andy knew it was time to make her escape down the small back trail. She jumped the final steps and landed with a roll that her gymnastics teacher would have been proud of.  
  
     In the brush behind her Andy heard footsteps and the searching commands of leader and tribesmen. She did her best not to panic as she hung close to a tree at the water’s edge. They broke through the underbrush just as the canoe came into sight. Andy leapt for it and they were able to miss capture from the Yanamuru. Andy turned and got one shot off causing them all to take cover except for a blueish colored man that stayed standing and watching them. He looked vaguely like the missing picture that Andy remembered from the articles about Dr. Ravitz’ disappearance. Emily paddled this time with Miranda’s help, while Nigel and Andy looked at each other as if they had never seen one another before.  
  
     Back at Camp 6 they ran aground once more when they saw the help that Emily had called upon earlier had arrived. Had they not been there they would have kept on down river until they could safely radio for assistance once again. A helicopter was waiting a few miles west in a clearing created for drug runners. Nigel needed medical attention but he wouldn’t let Andy examine him. All he said to Emily was, “Snake bite. Chalfonts.”  
  
     Emily had nodded gravely and offered him more water.  
  
***  
  
     Back on the estate Andy had been all too glad to call her parents to say that they were home safely. She had a hard time not breaking down to tell them everything, but she knew that it was hard on them and she didn’t want them to worry about her going on dangerous adventures with Miranda. It was one thing to deal with their daughter marrying the older archaeology professor; it was another for them to have in their mind images of Indiana Jones and Lara Croft Tomb Raider. Andy feared that if they got even the slightest impression of those kinds of shenanigans, then she would be locked in the basement when she went to visit them next.  
  
     Miranda and Emily were already going over a new set of maps by the time Andy showered and joined them. She was glad that she was not going on the next adventure, but she of course was worried all the same. Nigel hadn’t arrived yet so she took the opportunity to ask about his hospital visit. “What was Nigel saying on the helicopter about snake bite and chalfonts?” Emily blushed so red she was almost crimson. This was accompanied by a deep chuckle from Miranda on the far side of the table. Andy looked from one to the next in amused confusion. “Tell me.” She whined.  
  
     Wiping a tear from her eye, Emily half-choked and half sputtered. “A snake bit him in the Chalfonts.” She tried to say it again. “The Chalfonts St. Giles.” She let her hand slam down on the table in front of her, which earned a gasp from Andy and another low chuckle from Miranda.  
  
     “St. Giles—Piles.” Miranda said laughing.  
  
     Still confused Andy threw up her hands, “What?”  
  
     “Hemorrhoids.” Nigel’s quiet voice said from behind Andy.  
  
     Losing themselves in fits of giggles Miranda and Emily very nearly were hugging each other and falling out of their chairs. Andy stood in surprise and turned to him. “I’m so sorry, Nigel.”  
  
     Nigel accepted her hug and took a seat. “Your apology is accepted.” Andy poured him some juice and he nodded at her. “Theirs never will be.” He sniffed looking over the two ladies that were beside themselves. He sipped his juice and focused his attention on Andy. “So how’s the newlywed, then? Honeymoon to remember and all of that.”   
  
     A big packet of papers and mail was on the table alongside the maps and food items. Andy smiled as she pulled a card with her own writing out of the pile. “Here.” She said as she handed it to him. “This might cheer you up a tiny bit.”  
  
     Nigel slipped his thumb under the flap of the card and unsealed it with ease. He slid out the 5x7 picture and stared at it a very long time until a full-hearted laugh brewed up from deep inside of him. “Oh. You’re good, kid.” He said as he pointed a finger at her. Andy returned that knowing finger point with her own and nodded at their two companions. “I guess I needed to put something for that one there.” She said and he nodded.  
  
     “I have just the thing.” He said pulling out a marker and writing on the picture.  
  
     Andy scooted her chair closer to his and looked over his shoulder. She sat back in her chair covering her mouth with the giggles. In a dialogue box off of Paddington Miranda he had written, ‘Emily? Where is that girl, did she die or something?’  
  
     Miranda and Emily sobered up enough to look at the picture and lose it again. The conversation eventually turned to their plans for the next quest and breakfast was devoured as they went through maps and options and lists of supplies needed. Growing bored of all of it, Andy eventually gave Miranda a kiss and wandered back into the house where she put up the Paddington Miranda in her office above the computer.  
  


  
  
_**The End.** _


End file.
